Dear beautifully glowing bride, First, let us say it’s an honor to be chosen as a bridesmaid for your wedding. It means that you consider us one of her closest friends, and instead of just observing your big day from the sidelines, you actually want us to be a part of it; thank you so much! However, as this is an anonymous letter to every bride across the country, there are some things that you need to know. We love you, but for the love of God, please read this letter to every bride.
Dear Bride…
1.) We are not rich. Please do not ask us to shell out money for shoes, a dress, travel expenses, hair and makeup, a manicure, a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, and a wedding gift because we will do it, and at the end of this experience, we will have completely depleted our life savings. We understand Weddings are expensive, but so is being a bridesmaid (typically upwards of $1,000). Please have some mercy.
2.) We won’t wear that dress again. As beautiful as the dresses you have picked for us to wear at your wedding, we will not wear them again, so please don’t justify an expensive dress. There are very few times in our lives when we will ever need another shiny, strapless lavender dress. It screams “bridesmaid dress” because it is a bridesmaid dress. So even if we did miraculously find another event to wear it to, we’re going to feel awkward all night knowing pictures of us in the same dress we wore for your wedding will be plastered all over Facebook.
3.) Don’t be crazy. Don’t tell us we cannot change into flip-flops at your reception. Ten years from now, are you really going to be able to remember if your bridesmaids were wearing flip-flops as you and your fiancé danced the funky chicken at 12:30 in the morning? No, but you can bet your ass we will, and it will cause your reception to be a slightly sore subject…literally.
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4.) Feed us! Getting ready for the walk down the aisle is an all-day affair. While you may not be able to eat a thing due to the overzealous butterflies in your belly, we’re starving. We’ve probably only eaten whatever we had for breakfast and then spent the rest of the day doing the same thing you’ve done: hair, makeup, getting dressed, and helping you with anything you could possibly need, including talking to your Great Aunt Myrtle for an hour and a half. Something as simple as a plate of cheese and crackers will do the trick, and remember; a well-fed bridesmaid is a happy bridesmaid, and a hungry bridesmaid will be staring at the buffet table in all of your wedding pictures.
5.) Thanks us. We’re thrilled to be at your wedding, but being a bridesmaid is a lot of work. Besides the financial commitments we’ve made, we’ve also taken time off work to go to dress fittings and cake tastings. We’ve stayed up till 4:00 in the morning with you making delicate origami swans and spent hours stuffing envelopes. While we understand the duties of being a bridesmaid, the fact is that we’re your friends, and we do these things because we care about you. Don’t let us forget that you still care about us.
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