This post may ring like common sense for most people, but for those of us scheduled to be bridesmaids this coming year for the first time, it can be a bit of a rude awakening. Bridesmaid truths to share with you. When the bride asked us to arrive at her home at 4:00 to “get ready,” I showed up at 4:00, hair still wet from the shower, only to find my fellow bridesmaid all looking gorgeous, dressed and donned, makeup and hair done. The term “getting ready” was for the bride. I was clueless.

So here are some things to keep you from landing yourself in a similar situation as a first-time bridesmaid.

1.) Bring lots of money. Folks, being a bridesmaid isn’t cheap. You often pay for your dress, shoes, travel expenses, and your hair and makeup done by a professional. Even if you think you can do it yourself. If the bride wants you to do your makeup professionally, it’s up to you to pay for it. We haven’t even started including things like the wedding gift and food for the weekend. If you’re a bridesmaid, save up some cash.

2.) You’re not there as a guest but as an employee. It is your job to help ensure the bride’s Great-Grandmother makes it back to her hotel in one piece, and if she needs someone to hold her up to see the cake cutting during the reception, then damnit, get over there and give her a shoulder to lean on. This is the bride and groom’s day, and you are in their bridal party because they consider you one of their best friends and someone that can help make sure their big day runs as smoothly as possible. If the bride runs out of tiny paper serving plates, stop dancing and get your ass to the store to pick some up. The bride and groom should enjoy themselves, not run out to get more paper serving plates. This may not be fun for some bridesmaids.

3.) The Maid of Honor is your boss. This you will have to accept. The Maid of Honor is the bride’s right-hand lady, so if she needs something done, do it, and don’t argue. Chances are, she’s had to put just as much time and effort into this wedding as the bride has herself, so don’t cross her; she’s got a lot of responsibility riding on her shoulders. This is one bridesmaid truths you may not like.