Everyone everywhere has something to say about wedding planning. Everyone has an opinion on what colors look best together, what kind of music people will dance to, and what kind of dress will be easiest to dance in. Engagements, however, seem to be in a world of their own. There is no wrong way to propose; every story is romantic, no matter the circumstances. Nonetheless, a few things about getting engaged might take you by surprise.

Top 3

1.) You must tell your proposal story a million times. And then probably a couple of times after that. Everyone will want to hear this story. Some couples put their proposal story on their wedding website so people can read about it there, saving themselves the time and monotony of repeatedly telling the same story. Of course, we think retelling the story is half the fun of being engaged. A 20-year married couple rarely gets asked to tell that story.

2.) Your proposal will be different than how you pictured it. In your proposal fantasy, your family was there, or you were in different circumstances. Maybe you hadn’t just gotten home from the gym in sweaty clothes and smeared makeup. But these details don’t make your story any less special. They actually make it more so; they make it real, and real is better than any fantasy.

3.) Everyone will want to know the wedding details. You probably haven’t even thought about what cake flavor you’ll have or if you have a DJ or a band playing at the reception, but people will ask you anyway. People will want to know when you’re going wedding dress shopping and if you need help with anything. They will offer help with the planning and often bombard you with (unsolicited) advice. Take it all in stride, though; these people don’t mean to be intrusive. They are just genuinely excited for you.

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4.) Some will be a bit grumpy. Among all the people that are happy for you, there will most likely be one or two that aren’t so thrilled. Your older sister might be upset that you’re engaged while she’s still single, and your best friend might have a problem with your fiancé. Just keep your head up. True friends know that what makes you happy makes them happy, and sour family members have a way of coming around in the end.

5.) Your relationship will feel different. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been dating for 10 years and have considered yourselves married for that same amount of time, someone just asked you to spend the rest of your life with them, and you said yes. Even without a ring, this is a huge deal. For many, the wedding becomes simply a formality to make it all official; the engagement is where it becomes serious.

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