Let’s be honest; the man of your dreams probably did not grow up fantasizing about his wedding day since he was a little boy.  So don’t be surprised when his answer to the vast majority of your planning questions is, “Whatever you want, Sweetheart.”  Here are a few fail-safe ways to get your man involved in the planning.

1.) Open his mind. The truth is, your guy probably has no idea what it even takes to plan a wedding. He doesn’t understand why you’re freaking out because to him, all you really have to do is show up wearing what you want, make sure there are enough chairs for people, eat some cake and call it a night. Help show him what you’re going through by making a calendar with all of your deadlines marked. This way, he will be able to see, right in front of him what all needs done. Once he sees everything that needs to be done he may be much more apt to help.

2.) Give him tasks he’d be interested in. Yes, this means you’ll probably be on your own when it comes to deciding on the font to use for your invitations, but other things, like choosing the DJ, the flavor of your cake, sampling caters menus, or researching honeymoon destinations are probably more up his alley.

3.) Back off. When you do give him a task, its important that you’re not looking over his shoulder every second attempting to micro-manage any progress. If you want him to research honeymoon spots than let him do it. Don’t constantly ask him, “Did you check the cost of snorkeling in Jamaica? Are there sharks in Jamaica? You know I hate sharks…” Yes. He knows you hate sharks. Back off and let him do the job you gave him.

4.) Narrow down the options and respect his opinion. Naturally, there are going to be some things that you care about more than he does. As mentioned earlier, he probably isn’t going to lose any sleep over the wedding invitations, but you might. So narrow down your options to 3 or 4 you’d be happy with and let him make the final decision. He’ll feel involved and you won’t have to worry about sweating over the difference between white and eggshell white.

5.) Give him the busy work. As harsh as it sounds, a guy often wants to help but would rather leave the creative stuff up to you. This is the, “Just tell me what to do” approach that makes things easier on everyone. Have him balance the budget, make payments to vendors, pick up materials and reserve the reception space. He can do all of these tasks on his own, and you can focus on mastering that perfect napkin fold you saw in a bridal magazine 3 weeks ago or finding the perfect shoes for your bridal gown.